Family – Basic unit of Society
The basic unit/building block of society is family (Husband, wife and children). Society is formed by these units. Peace and prosperity prevails in the society when these basic units (Families) are strong in their values and morals. In other words, if the families obey Allah and perform good actions to please Allah, then the whole society becomes peaceful and tranquility prevails. On the other hand, if the family is weak in values or breaks up, then the society is affected at large.
Allah in his infinite knowledge and wisdom knows what is beneficial for us and has commanded many times to uphold the relationships set up by Allah. Allah orders us to be obedient to our parents, kind to our wives, uphold family ties, and give tarbiyah to children. There are numerous Ahadith regarding this as well. When the family is free from problems, the people can focus on ibaadah and get closer to Allah. If family structure breaks down, then the people will be affected mentally and loose focus of their life. Shaytaan who is our open enemy wants to break down this family structure and destroy the fabric of society so that there is chaos, fitnah(trouble) and fasad(corruption) in the society.
Jabir (Radi Allah Anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well. A’mash said: He then embraces him.[Sahih Muslim: Book 039 ‘Kitab Sifat Al-Qiyamah wa’l Janna wa’n-Nar’, Number 6755]
Allah while giving the commandments related to divorce in the Quran, in the middle of the Ayaath related to divorce, Allah commanded us to guard our Salaat. Scholars say that this is so because it is very hard for a person who goes through this tough time of divorce to focus on Ibaadah and might loose track of his purpose in life. Further this Ibaadah will soothe him and make it easy for him to go through this tough time. See Surah Baqarah 2:238.
One of the essential elements in a strong family is the trust between each other. Husband and wife should trust each other. Shaythan tries to destroy this trust by encouraging humans to commit lewd and lustful acts. Shaythan encourages pre-marital and extra-marital affairs in his effort to destroy the fabric of the society.
The result is broken families, increase in divorce, teenage pregnancies, abortions, single mothers, violence against women and children involved suffering trauma. Facts and statistics help us understand the magnitude of the problem.
Teenage Pregnancy:
- The United States has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $7 billion annually.
- More than 4 out of 10 young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20—nearly one million a year. Eight in ten of these pregnancies are unintended and 80 percent are to unmarried teens.
Abortions:
- Number of abortions per year: 1.37 Million (1996)
- 64.4% of all abortions are performed on never-married women.
- 1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).
Single Parenting and its effects on children:
- There are almost 14 million single mothers and fathers currently raising 22 million children in the United States.
- 75% of children/adolescents in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families.
- More than one half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts lived in one-parent families when they were children.
- 63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families
- 75% of teenage pregnancies are adolescents from single parent homes
Violence against women:
- Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)
- 64% of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date
The solution to these problems is Islam. Islam is complete deen (Code of Conduct) to lead our life from Allah who loves us more than our mothers. Allah is Ar-Rahman(Beneficient) and Ar-Raheem(Merciful). Allah is Al-A’leem (All knowing) and Al Hakeem (All Wise). Allah has given us do’s and dont’s in this deen. The Do’s have been given to elevate us, give us honor and to make us lead a peaceful and prosperous life. The Dont’s have been given to save us from calamities and disasters. This deen is a boon and mercy from Allah for the whole mankind.
Allah in his infinite knowledge and wisdom gives us the commands which will prevent us from going towards destruction. Prevention is better than cure. But the man-made laws on the other hand are more focused on damage control rather than to correct the cause of the damage.
Allah says in the Quran:
17:32 Nor come close to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).
24:30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
24:31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their selves and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.
Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said: “Do not have a look (at a marriageable woman) and follow that look with another one, as you are not held accountable for the first (accidental) look, but you are held accountable for the next one.” [Ahmad]
Further Haya is given great importance in deen so that it will help us in staying away from sins.
Haya – Branch of Iman
Definition of Haya:
An innate or instinctive feeling of shame, which prevents people from engaging in what is considered shameful and indecent acts in front of Allah.
Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said: “Every religion has a distinct feature. For Islam it is haya.” [Ibn Majah].
Another famous hadith says: “There are more than 70 branches of Iman (Faith). The foremost is the declaration that there is no god except Allah and the least of it is removing harmful things from the path. And haya is a branch of Iman.” [Bukhari, Muslim].
Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) passed by a man of the Ansar who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya. Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “Leave him alone, for Haya is a part of Iman.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Prophet Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam said: “If you have lost haya then do whatever you feel like.”
From the above Ahadith, we can understand that Haya is the cornerstone of Islam.
Valentine’s Day – Reality & Its contribution in removing Haya
Who was Valentine? Why is this day observed? Legends abound, as they do in all such cases, but this much is clear: Valentine’s Day began as a pagan ritual started by Romans in the 4th century BCE to honor the god Lupercus. The main attraction of this ritual was a lottery held to distribute young women to young men for “entertainment and pleasure”–until the next year’s lottery. Among other equally despicable practices associated with this day was the lashing of young women by two young men, clad only in a bit of goatskin and wielding goatskin thongs, who had been smeared with blood of sacrificial goats and dogs. A lash of the “sacred” thongs by these “holy men” was believed to make them better able to bear children.
As usual, Christianity tried, without success, to stop the evil celebration of Lupercalia. It first replaced the lottery of the names of women with a lottery of the names of the saints. The idea was that during the following year the young men would emulate the life of the saint whose name they had drawn. (The idea that you can preserve the appearance of a popular evil and yet somehow turn it to serve the purpose of virtue, has survived. Look at all those people who are still trying, helplessly, to use the formats of popular television entertainments to promote good. They might learn something from this bit of history. It failed miserably) Christianity ended up doing in Rome, and elsewhere, as the Romans did.
The only success it had was in changing the name from Lupercalia to St. Valentine’s Day. It was done in CE 496 by Pope Gelasius, in honor of some Saint Valentine. There are as many as 50 different Valentines in Christian legends. Two of them are more famous, although their lives and characters are also shrouded in mystery. According to one legend, and the one more in line with the true nature of this celebration, St. Valentine was a “lovers'” saint, who had himself fallen in love with his jailer’s daughter.
Due to serious troubles that accompanied such lottery, French government banned the practice in 1776. In Italy, Austria, Hungary, and Germany also the ritual vanished over the years. Earlier, it had been banned in England during the 17th century when the Puritans were strong. However in 1660 Charles II revived it. From there it also reached the New World, where enterprising Yankees spotted a good means of making money. Esther A. Howland, who produced one of the first commercial American Valentine’s Day cards called— what else— valentines, in the 1840s, sold $5,000 worth–when $5,000 was a lot of money–the first year. The valentine industry has been booming ever since.
Celebrating Valentine’s day
Celebrating Valentine’s Day means resembling or imitating the pagan Romans, then the Christian People of the Book in their imitation of the Romans in something that was not part of their religion. If it is not allowed to imitate the Christians in things that really are part of their religion – but not part of our religion – then how about things which they have innovated in their religion in imitation of idol-worshippers?
Imitating non-Muslims in general -whether they are idol-worshippers or People of the Book – is Haraam (prohibited), whether that imitation is of their worship – which is the most serious form – or of their customs and behavior. This is indicated by the Quran, Sunnah and Ijmaa’ (scholarly consensus):
From the Quran: Allaah Says (what means): “And be not as those who divided and differed among themselves after the clear proofs had come to them. It is they for whom there is an awful torment.” [Quran 3:105]
From the Sunnah: the Prophet said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” [Abu Daawood]
Some people may wonder, and say: “You mean to deprive us of love, but in this day and age we express our feelings and emotions – what is so wrong with that?”
It is a mistake to confuse what they call the day with what the real intentions are behind it. The love referred to on this day is romantic love, taking mistresses and lovers, boyfriends and girlfriends. It is known to be a day of promiscuity and sex for them, with no restraints or restrictions. They are not talking of pure love between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband, or at least they do not distinguish between the legitimate love in the relationship between husband and wife, and the forbidden love of mistresses and lovers. This festival for them is a means for everyone to express love.
The greatest contribution of Valentine’s day is that it removes Haya from a person and encourages him to be bold and commit the act of sin. A person usually due to Haya might not express or suppress his feelings or interest in another person. But during Valentine’s day, such an atmosphere is created where he feels bold to approach a person of his interest. Even in schools, the children are encouraged by their teachers to distribute gifts, candies and cards to other children. The young boys use this opportunity to approach girls and the young girls alike wait for their cards and find who is interested in them. After school dance parties are arranged and teens are encouraged to mix and celebrate. This happens year after year and strips off the Haya from these youngsters who eventually lead a promiscuous life.
As muslims, we should recognize and realize the deep impact of celebrating valentine’s day on the society. We have been choosen by Allah to enjoin good and forbid evil and we are supposed to guide the people to the truth. How can we contribute to this celebration and turn a blind eye on the consequences in the society. The parents should send a letter to the school management to excuse their child from participating in this celebration as it is against the religious practice of the child. Our businesses should not promote this celebration by displaying posters or banners and avoid selling of items which are specific to this celebration. We have to raise awareness among our family members especially kids and those whom we can speak to. Also we have to realize how beautiful this deen is, which Allah has given us, which makes us lead a pure and pristine family life and protects us from all the chaos in the society. We have to be very Thankful and Grateful to Allah for His bounties.